Procrastination can be a serious issue, but sometimes a good laugh is all you need to get back on track. Here’s a collection of 62 funny procrastination quotes that are sure to make you smile and maybe even inspire you to get things done. Whether you’re a student facing deadlines or just someone who enjoys a good chuckle, these quotes are for you!
Funny Procrastination Quotes
1. “I’m not a procrastinator. I’m just extremely productive at unimportant things.” – Anonymous
Procrastinators often find themselves excelling in tasks that have little to do with their main goals, creating a false sense of productivity while avoiding the more pressing issues at hand. They think to themselves: “Who says reorganizing your sock drawer isn’t a priority?”
2. “Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Don Marquis
This quote humorously captures the essence of procrastination, highlighting how it often leads people to live in a perpetual state of catching up rather than moving forward. It serves as a reminder that procrastination often involves trying to catch up with past deadlines rather than making progress on current tasks.
3. “Why do today what you can put off till tomorrow?” – Mark Twain
This procrastination quote underscores the common tendency to delay tasks, suggesting that it is normal to perpetually postpone doing work. Twain perfectly captures the procrastinator’s mantra – tomorrow always seems like a better day to start.
4. “Procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.” – Christopher Parker
The initial pleasure of putting off tasks quickly fades when the consequences of delay become evident, much like the shock of receiving a high credit card bill.
5. “If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.” – Rita Mae Brown
The looming pressure of a deadline often serves as the ultimate motivator, pushing people to accomplish in a few hours what they could have done over several days. Procrastinators thrive under pressure, or so they say.
6. “My greatest talent has always been procrastination.” – Anonymous
Many individuals might jest about their skill in delaying tasks, often viewing it as an ironic badge of honor that showcases their ability to manage stress and work under pressure.
7. “Procrastinators unite… tomorrow!” – Anonymous
This humorous rallying cry for procrastinators cleverly points out the irony of their inclination to delay even the act of uniting against procrastination itself.
8. “I’m very busy doing things I don’t need to do in order to avoid doing anything I’m actually supposed to be doing.” – Anonymous
This quote highlights the absurd lengths to which procrastinators will go to avoid important tasks, often engaging in trivial activities as a form of escapism. The life of a procrastinator is filled with unnecessary tasks that suddenly become urgent.
9. “Procrastination: the fine art of putting off until tomorrow what should have been done yesterday.” – Napoleon Hill
This observation humorously emphasizes the perpetual state of delay that characterizes procrastination, where yesterday’s tasks become tomorrow’s burdens.
10. “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” – Mark Twain
Twain’s witty twist on a common saying illustrates the chronic procrastinator’s mindset, always seeking to push tasks even further into the future. In this case, the condition to procrastinate is even more severe, as the procrastinator seeks to delay doing the work even more adamantly.
11. “Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday.” – Napoleon Hill
This exaggerated statement humorously captures the essence of procrastination, where delays compound until they seem almost insurmountable.
12. “Procrastination is my sin. It brings me naught but sorrow. I know that I should stop it. In fact, I will… tomorrow!” – Gloria Pitzer
Pitzer’s rhyme highlights the regret that often accompanies procrastination, coupled with the ironic promise to change behavior that is perpetually delayed. Procrastinators wish they could change, but they still tend to procrastinate the very act of changing which is quite hilarious.
13. “I’ll stop procrastinating… once I get around to it.” – Anonymous
This quote captures the essence of procrastination, where even the act of resolving to stop procrastinating is postponed.
14. “Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.” – Spanish Proverb
This proverb humorously points out that tomorrow always seems to hold the promise of productivity, even though it often ends up being just as unproductive as today. Tomorrow is perpetually overbooked.
15. “Someday is not a day of the week.” – Janet Dailey
Dailey’s quote emphasizes the need to take action now rather than deferring tasks to an indefinite “someday,” which never actually arrives.
16. “Procrastination is opportunity’s assassin.” – Victor Kiam
This powerful metaphor suggests that procrastination doesn’t just delay progress; it actively destroys potential opportunities that might have been seized if action had been taken sooner.
17. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” – Leslie Nielsen
Nielsen’s humorous observation points out the paradox of idleness, where the lack of concrete tasks leads to a disconcerting sense of never truly completing anything.
18. “The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up.” – Anonymous
This ironic statement reveals the flawed logic of procrastinators who believe that delaying tasks somehow gives them more time to complete them later.
19. “Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.” – Anonymous
This metaphor highlights the long-term consequences of procrastination, where missed opportunities are lost forever, much like being buried in a grave.
20. “Procrastination gives you something to look forward to.” – Joan Konner
Konner’s quote adds a humorous twist, suggesting that the act of delaying tasks can ironically provide a perverse sense of anticipation for the procrastinator.
21. “One of these days, is none of these days.” – English Proverb
This proverb underscores the futility of indefinite postponement, reminding us that “one of these days” often turns into “never.” If you’re gonna postpone a task for whatever reason, it necessary to set a concrete or definite date for the completion of the task.
22. “If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it.” – Olin Miller
Miller’s quote emphasizes how procrastination can turn even the simplest tasks into monumental challenges through repeated delays.
23. “Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” – Charles Dickens
Dickens’ quote personifies procrastination as a thief, urging us to capture and control it before it steals more of our precious time.
24. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams
This funny procrastination quote humorously captures the fleeting nature of deadlines, which often pass unnoticed by procrastinators until it’s too late.
25. “There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back.” – Tom DeMarco
DeMarco’s observation underscores the irreversible loss of time caused by procrastination, highlighting the importance of making the most of each day.
26. “If you put off everything till you’re sure of it, you’ll never get anything done.” – Norman Vincent Peale
Peale’s quote warns against the paralysis of perfectionism, which often leads to endless delays and a lack of actual progress. The pursuit of certainty can often lead to perpetual inaction.
27. “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” – Nelson Mandela
This funny procrastination quote serves as an encouraging reminder that tasks often appear daunting only until they are completed, at which point the sense of accomplishment is immense.
28. “Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.” – C. Northcote Parkinson
Parkinson’s Law humorously explains why tasks tend to take longer than necessary, as they grow to fill the time allotted for their completion. This makes more sense in the context of a procrastinator as they always leave the work for the last minute.
29. “Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they started.” – David Allen
Allen’s quote highlights the mental burden of unfinished tasks, which can be more stressful than the tasks themselves.
30. “Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.” – Napoleon Hill
Hill’s quote urges immediate action, reminding us that waiting for the perfect moment often results in perpetual delay. Perfect timing is a myth.
31. “The best way to get something done is to begin.” – Anonymous
This straightforward advice emphasizes the importance of starting tasks to overcome procrastination. However, the simplest advice is often the hardest to follow – just start!
32. “Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” – William James
James’ quote captures the mental exhaustion caused by prolonged procrastination, which drains energy and motivation. Every procrastinator knows that the weight of unfinished tasks can be truly exhausting.
33. “The only difference between success and failure is the ability to take action.” – Alexander Graham Bell
Bell’s quote highlights the critical role of action in achieving success, contrasting it with the stagnation caused by procrastination.
34. “You may delay, but time will not.” – Benjamin Franklin
Time is relentless – it waits for no one, especially not procrastinators. Franklin’s quote serves as a stark reminder that time continues to pass regardless of our actions, urging us to make the most of it.
35. “The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” – Amelia Earhart
Earhart’s quote encourages direct action as the best approach to accomplishing tasks and overcoming procrastination.
36. “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker
This funny procrastination quote underscores the power of proactive action in shaping one’s future, contrasting it with the passivity of procrastination.
37. “Procrastination is the foundation of all disasters.” – Pandora Poikilos
Poikilos’ quote suggests that procrastination can lead to a cascade of negative consequences, laying the groundwork for failure.
38. “A goal without a plan is just a wish.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
This quote emphasizes the importance of planning and action in turning aspirations into reality, highlighting the futility of mere wishes. Dreams turn into reality with a solid plan – procrastination turns them into wishes.
39. “A year from now you may wish you had started today.” – Karen Lamb
This is a poignant reminder that future regrets often stem from present inaction, urging immediate effort. The regret of delay is a powerful motivator – start now to avoid future regrets.
40. “Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.” – Dale Carnegie
Carnegie’s advice encourages tackling the most challenging tasks first to build momentum and make subsequent tasks feel easier.
41. “Putting off an easy thing makes it hard. Putting off a hard thing makes it impossible.” – George Claude Lorimer
Lorimer’s quote highlights how procrastination can escalate the difficulty of tasks, turning manageable challenges into insurmountable obstacles.
42. “I do my work at the same time each day – the last minute.” – Unknown
This humorous admission captures the tendency of procrastinators to rely on the pressure of the last minute to spur productivity. This is a typical procrastinator’s routine – always racing against the clock.
43. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers
Rogers’ quote emphasizes the need for continuous action and progress, warning against complacency and inaction. Progress requires movement – even when in the right direction, you must keep moving.
44. “Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.” – Unknown
This quote humorously suggests that the urgency of a looming deadline can often be the most effective motivator for productivity especially for a procrastinator.
45. “The path to success is to take massive, determined action.” – Tony Robbins
This quote highlights the importance of decisive and sustained effort in achieving success, contrasting it with the stagnation of procrastination.
46. “Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.” – Arnold H. Glasow
This funny procrastination quote uses vivid imagery to emphasize the need for self-motivation and proactive effort in achieving success.
47. “You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” – Abraham Lincoln
Lincoln’s quote highlights the inevitability of facing tasks eventually, urging immediate action to avoid future burdens.
48. “The man who waits to know everything is the man who never does anything.” – Craig D. Lounsbrough
Lounsbrough’s quote warns against the paralysis of analysis, where the pursuit of complete knowledge prevents any meaningful action.
49. “You can’t plow a field simply by turning it over in your mind.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
Hinckley’s quote uses a farming analogy to illustrate the importance of physical effort and action in achieving results, contrasting it with mere contemplation.
50. “Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” – Abraham Lincoln
Lincoln’s quote underscores the competitive edge gained by those who take immediate action, leaving procrastinators with the leftovers.
51. “In a moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” – Theodore Roosevelt
This funny procrastination quote from Roosevelt, highlights the importance of decisive action, warning that inaction is the most detrimental choice.
52. “To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.” – Eva Young
Young’s quote warns against overthinking, which can lead to procrastination and ultimately prevent the task from being completed.
53. “Success is not achieved by luck. It is achieved by consistent, deliberate action.” – Anonymous
This quote emphasizes the importance of persistence and effort in achieving success, contrasting it with the passive nature of procrastination.
54. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.” – Lao Tzu
Lao Tzu’s timeless wisdom encourages taking the first step, no matter how small, to begin the journey towards achieving goals and overcoming procrastination.
55. “Procrastination is the thief of time.” – Edward Young
Young’s quote succinctly captures the essence of procrastination, highlighting how it steals precious time that could be used for productive endeavors.
56. “What is deferred is not avoided.” – Thomas More
More’s quote reminds us that delaying tasks does not eliminate them; it merely postpones the inevitable.
57. “It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.” – Leonardo da Vinci
Da Vinci’s quote suggests that it is easier to avoid procrastination by starting tasks early rather than trying to catch up later.
58. “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.” – Elbert Hubbard
Hubbard’s quote highlights the importance of taking action despite the fear of criticism, as inaction leads to a lack of achievement and purpose.
59. “He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” – Benjamin Franklin
Franklin’s quote warns against the habit of making excuses, which often accompanies procrastination and leads to a lack of productivity.
60. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs
Jobs’ quote emphasizes the importance of passion and dedication in achieving excellence, suggesting that procrastination is less likely when you are engaged in work you love.
61. “You can’t build a reputation on what you are going to do.” – Henry Ford
This funny procrastination quote from Henry Ford, underscores the importance of taking action and producing results, rather than relying on intentions and promises.
Why Do We Procrastinate?
Understanding why we procrastinate can help us break the cycle. Often, procrastination stems from a fear of failure, perfectionism, a lack of motivation, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the task at hand. Recognizing these triggers can help you take steps to overcome procrastination.
Conclusion
Procrastination can be a tough habit to break, but with a little humor and some practical strategies, you can overcome it. These funny procrastination quotes are here to remind you that you’re not alone and that everyone struggles with putting things off from time to time. The key is to recognize it, understand why it happens, and implement effective strategies to manage it.
Be patient with yourself, recognize and be proud of your progress, and continue to seek out strategies that work for you.
