Why Is Making Friends in College So Hard?

For many students, making friends isn’t as effortless as it is sometimes shown in movies.

It’s always tempting to assume that friendships will just happen. That one day, you’ll sit down in class, someone will come up to you, strike up a conversation, and boom, you will become best friends. But in reality, many students struggle with awkward interactions, friend circles that seem impenetrable, and the awful feeling of eating alone in the cafeteria.

Even students who are naturally outgoing can find it difficult to build meaningful friendships. And for introverts or those with social anxiety, the idea of putting themselves out there can feel overwhelming.

So, what’s the solution? How do you make friends in college without feeling forced or uncomfortable? Let’s break it down step by step.

How to make friends in college

1. The First Few Weeks Are Important:

The first few weeks of college are prime time for making friends. One mistake some students often make is waiting too long to start socializing. This isn’t to say you can’t make friends after the first month, but it’s much easier when everyone is still open, unestablished, and looking for connections.

The first few weeks of college are a golden opportunity because:

Everyone is in the same boat:

Whether they show it or not, almost every first year student is a little nervous about meeting new people. This is the perfect time to approach others because most students are actively looking to make friends in college.

Social circles haven’t solidified yet:

Meaning people are more willing to talk and meet new friends. After a few weeks, students will naturally form groups, whether it’s with their roommates, classmates, or club members. If you introduce yourself early, you’re more likely to be part of these groups before they “close off” and it becomes harder to break in.

Tons of events are designed to help you meet people:

The first few weeks of college are usually packed with orientation events, club fairs, dorm gatherings, and meetups. These are all designed to help students make friends in college, so skipping them means missing out on social opportunities which could lead to a friendship.

How to take advantage of this window:

1. Go to Every Event You Can

Yes, even the ones that seem a little awkward. Your school will likely host welcome parties, club fairs, dorm mixers, and campus activities—all designed to help students connect.

• Everyone is there to meet people, so it doesn’t feel forced.
• Conversations happen naturally, which takes the pressure off.
• You might click with someone unexpectedly, even in places you wouldn’t normally go.

Don’t just attend and be invincible. It’s possible to show up to an event, stand in a corner, and leave without talking to anyone. If you’re serious about learning how to make friends in college, challenge yourself to introduce yourself to at least three people per event.

2. Introduce Yourself Early in Class

Don’t wait until mid-semester to talk to classmates.

If you wait too long, people will already have their “default” seat buddies. Sitting in silence for weeks and then suddenly trying to make friends is way harder.

Here’s what to do:

• On the first day, introduce yourself to the people sitting around you.
• Before or after class, say something like:
  • “Hey, I’m [Your Name], nice to meet you!”
  • “I think we’re going to be class buddies whether we like it or not, figured I should introduce myself!”
  • “This class looks like it’s going to be brutal. Wanna exchange numbers in case we need to help each other out?”

Sit next to the same people for a few classes. It’ll feel more natural to talk over time.

3. Join Online Student Groups and Chats

Most colleges have WhatsApp, Discord, or Facebook groups for dorms, majors, and campus organizations. These are goldmines for making friends before even meeting in person.

How this helps:

• You get to know people before class even starts.
• It makes it easier to start conversations in real life.
• You can find like-minded people before everyone forms their friend groups.

If you’re wondering how to make friends in college when you’re shy, online platforms could be great for you. You can break the ice digitally before transitioning into real-life interactions, making it feel a lot less intimidating.

Don’t just join groups, participate. Ask questions, comment on posts, and look for opportunities to meet up in person.

4. Don’t Just Stay in Your Dorm Room

If you’re living on campus, your dorm is one of the easiest places to meet people, but only if you put yourself out there.

How to do this:

• Keep your door open when you’re in your room, it’s an invitation for people to say hi.
• Hang out in common areas instead of isolating yourself.
• Introduce yourself to your floor mates and make an effort to talk in passing.

Dorm friendships often turn into lifelong friendships, so it’s worth putting yourself out there in those early weeks.

What If You Missed the Window? Can You Still Make Friends?

Absolutely! While the first few weeks are the easiest time to make friends in college, you’re never “too late”. If you find yourself a month or two into the semester without a strong social circle, here’s what to do:

✔ Get more involved on campus. It’s never too late to join clubs, attend events, or participate in group activities.
✔ Start small. Even if it feels like everyone already has their groups, there are always other students looking for friends, you just have to find them.
✔ Be patient. Some friendships take time to develop. Even if you don’t find a close friend immediately, keep putting yourself in social situations.

2. The “Sit Next to Them Until They Talk” Trick (Does It Work?)

You might think that simply sitting near someone in class or the dining hall will naturally lead to friendship, but unfortunately, that’s not always the case. People can be shy, distracted, or just unaware that you want to connect.

Instead of hoping for a miracle, initiate conversation in a casual way.

What to say instead of just “Hey”

• “That last lecture was intense; did you understand that part on [topic]?”
• “I noticed you have a sticker of [band/TV show/game] on your laptop, are you a fan?”
• “Hey, I’ve seen you in class a few times, figured I should introduce myself. I’m [Your Name]!”

The key is to make it feel natural and low-pressure. If the person responds warmly, keep the conversation going. If not, don’t take it personally, move on and try with someone else. Nobody is going to think you’re weird for wanting to talk, so just do it.

3. The Easiest Way to Meet People:

If there’s one surefire answer to the question, how to make friends in college, it’s joining clubs, organizations, or campus activities. Just join something, seriously, it works.

Think about it:

• You’re automatically surrounded by people who share your interests.
• You have built-in conversation starters based on the club’s theme.
• You’re forced to interact in a natural way, which removes the awkwardness of random socializing.

Best types of clubs to join:

• Activity-based clubs (sports teams, gaming, hiking, dance, theater, etc.)
• Academic and professional societies (especially for your major)
• Cultural or identity-based organizations
• Volunteering groups (community service, tutoring, student government)

Even if you don’t love the first club you join, stick with it for a few meetings, sometimes friendships take a little time to develop.

4. Struggling with Small Talk?

A common fear: What if I run out of things to say?

We can all relate, you start talking to someone, and after a few sentences, the conversation dies an awkward death. The trick is to ask open-ended questions and make small observations that lead to bigger discussions. Talking about the weather or homework usually leads to dead-end conversations. So, what works better?

Instead of these common conversation killers:
❌ “Nice weather today.”
❌ “So… do you like this class?”
❌ “What’s your major?” (Fine as an opener but doesn’t always lead anywhere.)

Try these instead:
✔ “You seem super organized, how do you keep up with all these classes?”
✔ “I love your [backpack/shirt/shoes]! Where’d you get it?”
✔ “Any fun plans for the weekend?”
✔ “What’s one class you actually enjoy this semester?”

People love talking about themselves. The more interested you are in their opinions, the easier the conversation will flow. Ask questions, be interested, and don’t overthink it.

5. What If You Feel Like Everyone Already Has Their Friend Group?

One major fear for new students is feeling like they’re the only ones struggling while everyone else already has their friend circle.

However, the truth is that most people aren’t as socially secure as they seem.

People aren’t as locked into their friend groups as you think. Even if they seem tight knit, they’re usually open to meeting new people, especially in a college setting. Many students are always looking for better friendships, even if they’re already part of a group.

How to break into an existing group:

• Find natural ways to join in. If a group is discussing an upcoming exam, say something like, “Oh man, I need to study for that too, anyone wanna do a study session?”
• Be consistent. If you regularly show up to the same spots, club meetings, the library, group study sessions, people will naturally start recognizing and including you.
• Find other “outsiders” like you. If you see someone sitting alone, chances are they’re also looking for friends.

Remember: Friendships aren’t instant. They grow over time, so be patient with the process.

6. Dealing with Social Rejection

Even with the best efforts, not every interaction leads to a friendship. And that’s totally normal. Not every attempt at making friends will be successful. Sometimes, people just won’t click, or they may already have a tight-knit circle.

The worst thing you can do is to take it personally and stop trying. Some people just aren’t looking for new friends.

How to bounce back:

• If a group doesn’t include you, find a different one. There are so many groups around and many options. If dorm life isn’t working, try clubs. If clubs aren’t working, try classes.
• Shift your focus to casual, positive interactions instead of expecting an instant best friend.
• Remind yourself that not every person you meet is meant to be a long-term friend, and that’s okay. If something clicks, great. If not, move on.

Friendships take effort, but they also happen naturally over time. The key is to keep showing up and putting yourself in social situations.

7. Making Friends as an Introvert (Yes, It’s Possible!)

Yes, I get it. Some students are shy and if you’re introverted, the idea of actively making friends might sound exhausting. But that doesn’t mean you have to be alone.

Low-pressure ways to connect:

• Join smaller clubs instead of large ones (e.g., book club instead of student government).
• Use online student communities (many colleges have Discord servers or social media groups where you can connect before meeting in person).
• Go to structured events (like study groups or workshops, where conversations are built-in).
• Invite one person to coffee or a study session instead of big group hangouts.

Final Thoughts

Friendships in college don’t always happen overnight, but they do happen. The key is to:

• Be open to new experiences
• Start conversations, even if they feel awkward
• Join clubs and organizations to meet like-minded people
• Be patient—friendships take time to grow

Most importantly? You’re not alone in this! The majority of students are also looking for new friends. Be the person who takes the first step—you might just make someone’s day.

Now, go forth and befriend someone!

Cheers!